I have a colicky baby..

So we were trying to decide if she was just high-need or silent reflux or colicky. It appears that she is high need and colicky. She has her screaming episodes daily and she also hates being put down. I started her on 3 to 1 milk to soy formula because I was hardly keeping up. The soy is much better than the regular for her tummy. We got a swing from Grandma Foster and I thought it was going to be a perfect distraction ... lo and behold she will still cry for a long time when in it! At least I can set her down and do house work and she eventually will get distracted ... but it still is hard dealing with the screaming. If I get sleep it's not a big deal.

This week I thought we were finally scheduling. She went down 2 nights in a row at 1:30 a.m. and slept until 8ish ... Then the last two nights it's been 5 a.m. And now tonight she passed out at 10:30 p.m. I'm so screwed because I'm afraid to go to bed because as soon as I do she'll wake up!

She is smiling more! Her favorite place to be is on her changing table where she "talks" to the wall and smiles. It cracks me up! I'm getting better response from her during the day. If she wakes normally then I get BIG smiles :) She really likes responding with smiles when I call her a Silly Baby. Everyday is a new experience and I can't wait until we are done with the daily screaming fits and Alice can be a happy lovey baby like I can sometimes see ... just there on the edge :)

Alice's First Month ...

Two things I've learned so far:

1. Motherhood isn't easy.
2. You have no clue about anything until you experience it for yourself.

It has been hard for me to fall into the "mother" role. For weeks, I felt I was babysitting. I knew that Alice came from me, but I was still distant from her and the experience! As time goes on, it has gotten better due to co-sleeping and being more confident in calming her (when possible!). And I know she's mine now :)

So to start, Alice has generally slept at night 2-3 hours in a row. It's getting longer and better as the weeks go by. Last night, she slept 3 hours and then 4 hours! Usually it's 3 hours then she's up every 2 hours after that for changing and feeding. Also, it helps if she gets a nap in the afternoon/evening. She tends to sleep better at night.

CRYING. This has been the bane of my existence for weeks! For over 3 weeks, I could hardly put her down because she would SCREAM and WAIL. We finally got a swing from Dave's stepmom, Cindy, and it is my savior! She still has fits, but the swing distracts her attention after a bit and she calms ... and I can cook and clean up like I need to. I don't feel bad putting her in the swing and letting her cry because otherwise I'm just putting her down and letting her cry for a few minutes. This way at least she's in motion. I'm going to have Fisher test her Thursday for colic and reflux just to make sure that isn't a problem. Sometimes she just needs to cry and I don't think it's always in pain but sometimes it is. She's pretty gassy and when she's pushing it out she really gets upset.

Her weight gain has been great! When we left the hospital she was 6 lbs. 9 oz. Week one appointment she was 6 lbs. 13 oz. and week two she was up to 7 lbs. 5 oz. That made me feel better that I knew she was getting enough milk! I started pumping about a week and a half ago. I only was getting an ounce on one at a time but now her demand is going up and I'm generally getting an ounce and a half to 2 ounces now. I really can only pump in the evening because during the day she wants to eat every hour! By evening she slows down. The shield is still my savior but she can take the nip too if need be. The best hold is the football/clutch hold. And I have still to master nursing laying down! She never latches exactly right when we do that ... but at least it keeps her sleeping.

Some firsts:
- She smiled for the first time in the hospital. Most of her smiles the first weeks were fleeting and several were sleep smiles. Last week she finally started mimic smiling more. And when she wakes up on her own she'll smile too!
- Her first restaurant was Saturday and she slept for almost the whole time. I met Dave's family at the Chinese buffet and she was soooo good! Her first time out of the house was the 15th when we went to the doctor's and then to my work to drop off paperwork. Her first store was Target after her 2nd doctor's appointment and she cried the whole time! Needless to say, it was a quick trip!
- Daddy dressed her yesterday for the first time :) She was cute!
- Also, yesterday was the first time Daddy got to feed her a bottle. She ate about 2 1/2 ounces ... and then she slept those 3 hours alone :)
- First bath went well. The warm water calms her down ... but she likes to pee after she gets out LOL
- Her first shower was yesterday with me. Then Daddy took her and dressed her.
- She "laughs" in her sleep. Right now it sounds like hiccup breathing but she's smiling when she does it.
- She had one night of 5 hours of sleep during week 2. It gave me hope but she hasn't repeated it since.
- Her head control is great! She's been lifting her head since week one and by now she holds it up mostly on her own for long periods. Her tummy time is on my chest and she lifts her head quite well and it even rolling herself from tummy to her side in my arms.
- First 3 hours sleeping alone was last night. It went well!

Everyday is better than the last as she grows and becomes more coherent. I look forward to getting actual responses out of her and when she smiles because she's happy and not just mimicking :)

The Whole Story....

So false labor started Friday the 2nd. I had light contractions all day and they intensified in the evening. I was so uncomfortable going to bed but by the time I woke up they had stopped. The next bad bout started Sunday night and continued into Monday. They were bad enough that I called off work since I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate. They were still slightly erratic in timing but more consistant than on Friday. The peaked at about 5 minutes apart and I went to the midwives to get checked and was only 2 cm and 50% effaced. Mary told me to go home and rest. When I woke up they had stopped again. That night I put in for my maternity leave effective immediately since I knew I was close and with contractions I just couldn't see concentrating at work.

So Tuesday started fine. I slept in. I had random contractions here and there. When we were ready to go relax in bed at 11 pm I started contracting again. By rough estimates they started at about 5-6 minutes apart. By the time we were going to sleep at 2 am, I couldn't fall asleep because they started intensifying. I got up around 2:15 am and started timing. They were coming about 4 minutes apart for about a minute apiece. After 30 minutes I called the midwife service and told them I was in labor since I couldn't hardly sit during the contractions. After another 30 minutes, neither sitting nor walking was helping to quell the pain. I woke Dave up at 3 am and told him it was time to go to the hospital. We were packed and out the door and to the ER by 3:30 am. At this point I was on the verge of screaming with every contraction. While in the ER waiting for the nurse to come get us, I was literally contracting every 3 minutes and so tired already I was crying and wailing during each one.

They got us upstairs and situated by 4:30 am. I was only 3 cm and 50% effaced. I was devastated at having such little progress made with all the pain I was feeling. At first I refused any drugs but Mary talked me into at least taking Nubane so I could relax between contractions since I hadn't had any sleep and that was effecting my whole body. The nubane basically knocked me out between contractions which was great except they kept asking me questions while I was in between and it was so hard to concentrate on what they were saying! It really didn't help with the contractions themselves. It took the finally edge off of them but they were still just as intense. At about 8 am they started filling the tub so I could get in and see if the water would help de-intensify the contractions. It was ready by 9-9:30 am and I was still in pain with each contraction. I got in the water and at first it helped a bit ... but that didn't last long. Before I knew it, the Nubane had wore off and I was so tired I seriously was passing out between contractions. They were all over my mid-section from my back to my front but mostly in my back. After about an hour in the tub we knew it wasn't working. Mary told me straight up that I wasn't going to last at this rate. The options were keeping going and take the chance of ending in c-section since I was so tired I might not be able to push or take the epidural. I was so sad but I had to do something to stop the pain (which had me screaming at this point). I opted for the epi and continued to cry (I didn't know I had so many tears in me!). I was scared and tired and in pain. I was scared shitless to have a needle stuck in my back and in fear of what "if" I moved or they moved it wrong etc. They brought the anesthesiologist in and he got ready. I'm still screaming between contractions and they are coming quicker and I'm upset about what's about to happen and tired and etc. They had me sit on the edge of the bed and Dave held me up. I was screaming and crying and I had 3 contractions during the time it took to prep my back and stick it in and I couldn't move for fear of something going wrong. The anesthesiologist kept telling me "Stop screaming! You aren't making this easy and I'm not doing anything!" and I was screaming back "I'm having fucking contractions! I can't help it!" I could feel the pressure from the needle and little weird feeling of the catheter being inserted ... but once it was in and secure they started pumping everything in ... and I immediately relaxed. Thank goodness!!!

While I was getting out of the tub, Sharon showed up. I remember telling her, "Don't ever do this ... it sucks!" but I also apparently said, "I don't know why anyone would put themselves through this!" When you are in that much pain, everything changes at that moment. As time passes, your brain starts blocking out the severity of pain and emotion that you went through. I know it's a mental coping block, but I still don't want to forget the intensity of that pain and experience. The epidural was absolutely necessary and a life saver. I know now that I couldn't have made it through this labor at the rate I had been going. Sharon said, "Now I know: epidural for sure!" Bless her heart for being there with us <3

After I relaxed I was able to drink water better and have some pedia-pops to pump calories into me. Sharon went to lunch with Amber and Dave and I slept for a few hours. They came in every hour to turn me from side to side (so the epi didn't take effect only on one side). Also had a catheter (which was funny to me since I didn't have to worry about peeing! LOL). I downed water like it was going out of style. The nurses were impressed. When we woke up, I felt so much better. I was only 5 cm though by about 5 pm. By this time, Marianne was on duty. They suggested pitocin to get things going more and I put my foot down and said, "No. Nothing has went the way I planned today. Right now, I'm feeling good. I'm making slow progress but still progressing. If I get anything I wanted today, it's going to be no pit." And so they let me labor on. I was 8 cm by 8 pm and they broke my water. And hour later I was 8-9 cm and Marianne asked if I wanted to start pushing. I said, "No, let's let her descend more on her own." She was cool with that. So we watched So You Think You Can Dance and Glee :) At the end of Glee, Marianne came in and told me it was time to start pushing. I was cool with it by that time since I was relaxed and ready.

So by 10 pm I started pushing. We started with me on my back. Marianne stretching me with each push so I hopefully wouldn't tear or need to be cut. We started on the back for about 45 minutes then switched to my side for about 30 minutes. Went back to back for a few. By the time I was making better pushing progression, we switched back to side in the last 15 minutes. Marianne saw hair while she was still up a bit. When I switched back to side, the head was trying to get past the bone. That when we discovered she was face-up (sunny-side) and that explained my pain: back labor. If she would have been turned backwards the labor might have been slightly different. While I wasn't feeling pain so much, I could tell when I was contracting (they had a hard time all day picking up my contractions but I could feel them for the most part). The weirdest feeling was when she finally pushed past the pubic bone and I could feel her head slightly moving between contractions ... weird! So I was on my side. Sharon was holding my leg up for me ... She was surprised at how hard I had to push against her when I was pushing. Dave was down with Marianne because he was going to pull her out. So we got down the final pushing and it finally was hurting at she was crowning and I kept pushing because I couldn't deal with pausing for contractions with her head RIGHT THERE. I felt the pressure release as her head came out and the rest of her body followed her right out. She didn't cry at first but her eyes were wide open when Dave put her on my stomach and she looked up at me. It was some epiphany moment, but time did slow all of a sudden. Just Alice looking up at me and me saying "Hi!" They took her pretty quick after Dave cut the cord to get the fluid out of her lungs. That took a few minutes but she was fine. The placenta delivery was fast and easy ... barely had to push. After that the exhaustion set in and all I could do was lay there staring over to where they were cleaning her up. Marianne had to stitch up one whole. She said I had some random 2nd degree tears but they should heal fine on their own. The had to give me a local because the epi had been wearing off towards the end and I could feel the stitching as she started. They had to wait for 2 hours after delivery to move me so we just held the baby and Sharon went home to get some sleep before working the next day.

The worst after birth experience was getting up to get cleaned up. No one tells you how much pain you are in when you try going to the bathroom! OWWWWWW. That was almost as painful as the contractions I had been having earlier in the day. I was so tired all I could do was cry through it. When we finally got to the recovery room, Dave had to leave and go let the dogs out (it's like 2 am on the 8th at this point). The night nurse I had took the baby to the nursery thank goodness. She was supposed to make up the couch bed for Dave but all she did was throw blankets on it and walk out. She wasn't very attentive. I was not happy but so tired I couldn't yell about it. So Dave had to figure out how the damn couch worked when he got back and then didn't sleep well on it at all. The next day was full of holding baby and napping and all that stuff. She finally fed really good in the evening for about 30 minutes each side ... and made me almost raw. Dave didn't stay that night since he needed good sleep because he was going to be up for 24 hours the next day, so he went home to rest. And so began my night of hell! After she made me raw, I sent her to the nursery around midnight so I could get some rest. They brought her back at 12:45 saying she was hungry. It took me 1 1/2 hours to get her to feed. I sent her back again at 2:30 am. They brought her back at 3:30 am saying she was hungry. I was so sore and swollen that I couldn't get her to feed. I couldn't send her back until 7:30 am and I was so tired and frustrated from trying to get her to take my swollen self I was crying and passing out. They realized when they came to pick her up how gone I was and agreed to take the baby finally (they refused around 4:30-5 saying she needed to eat before they took her back). Even then, I was still unable to sleep long periods as Dr. Bajuyo came in and the nurses and Marianne ... it was lots of people. Dave finally got there around 10-11 and brought the baby back. That was a long day. By the time he was done with class and showed up in the afternoon, I was in tears trying to feed her and he convinced me to call the lactation consultant back it to help. She brought a shield and that has been my savior ever since! I seriously won't have made it past another day or two without it. So that helped. So the day went on. We got checked out around midnight (I refused to stay in the hospital again that night and risk the same thing happening again overnight). I didn't get anything but maybe 2 hours of sleep the first night and day home. The next day, Chris and Liz came over and I was able to catch another 1 1/2 that evening and they made us dinner! Thank goodness. My mom came that night to visit too and gushed over Ali and Gracie.

Alice's first visitor was Nik. My Dad and Tammy on Thursday afternoon. I was so proud to show her off! Chris and Liz showed up with Grace and Devon later. Nik saved me Friday evening too and held and watched her a bit while I napped. I feel asleep at one point nursing her while she was there. It was an exhausting couple of days for sure.

The good things about Alice's birth:
- The epi saved me. After they gave me that I didn't care who stuck what in my whooha or what they stuck in me. I was chill and going with the flow.
- Because of the epi, pushing went easy and almost painless.
- I got a smile the next day and that made me happy.
- The food was good and the menu was extensive so I ate really well while there.
- For the most part, the nurses were very responsive and kept me supplied in water and ice packs.
- Ice packs rock!
- Pacifiers help alot.
- Alice's hospital pics were totally cute. I still need to figure out how to get her to be still and not cry during picture time like they did!
- I'm so happy Dave was there for the whole thing. I needed an anchor and he kept me on task. I couldn't imagine doing it without him and love him even more so for doing that for me.
- I'm so happy Sharon was able to share in the whole experience too. Having her as Alice's official unofficial godmother makes us both feel happy and secure that if anything ever happens to us Alice will be in good hands who will love her ... even more so because she got to play a part in bringing her into the world.

As posted on BBC

Your Name/Screenname: Susan/fozbend11
Baby's Name: Alice Wrenae
Date of Birth: 11:43pm Oct. 7th
Original Due Date: Oct. 11th (U/S said the 7th!)
Weeks Pregnant: 39 weeks 4 days (40 weeks)
Weight: 7 lbs. 2 oz.
Height: 20 in.

I went into active labor at 11 pm on the 6th. I had been having false labor since Monday morning and so I figured it was the same but as the time went by the contractions got stronger and timeable. By 2 am we decided to go to sleep and I couldn't so I got up and started timing and by 2:30 I called the midwife to let them know what was going on. At 3 am I woke up DSO and told him it was time. The contractions were making it so I couldn't sit and hardly stand. We got to the hospital and settled upstairs by 4:30 am and I was already exhausted since I hadn't slept since Monday night. They started me on nubane to help me relax between contractions as I was only 3 cm and 50% effaced. I got in the tub at 8 am and for the next 2 hours and tried to see if the water would help the pain and it didn't. At this point I was passing out between contractions and screaming in pain during. Alice's Godmomma showed up after I got out of the tub and I told her "Don't ever do this! It sucks!" LOL I opted for the epi at this point because otherwise I wouldn't be able to make it through the labor. By 11 am on the 7th I was resting and able to nap for 2-3 hours. From then on I didn't have a care in the world. I was at 5 cm before my nap. By 6pm I had jumped to 8-9 and at 8 pm they broke my water. I was 10 cm by 9 pm and started pushing at 10 pm. Alice came into the world at 11:43 pm and I delivered on my side with Godmomma holding my leg. She came out face up so I had been having back labor all day. The midwife delivered the head and shoulders and DSO delivered the rest and put her on my belly. That was the best experience he has ever had! She was slightly fluidy so they worked on that and she's perfectly fine now. She's gorgeous!

Week 39!

Time has definitely flown! It's been 9 1/2 months since Alice became a mass of cells that now makes up this huge alien in my belly! Things started getting uncomfortable around week 31 and everyday since is a new level of discomfort. You never know how many levels of discomfort there until you discover new ones everyday.

Alice started dropping around week 36. I'm pretty sure she finally got ALL the way down around 37-38. And since then I can tell she's engaging more by my hip discomfort. I haven't had too many hip discomfort days yet but plenty of cramping days. Last Friday was my first full-out false labor day. I had my midwife appointment in the morning and after that I started cramping more and ended up with contractions through most of the day until I finally fell asleep that night. When I finally got the chance to lay down and time them they were anywhere from 3 minutes to 12 minutes apart ... so I knew it was false ... but boy was it not comfortable! I woke up Saturday just fine and today I was kind of crampy and woke up to contractions but they stopped. Grocery shopping made things worse but I'm not getting consistent contractions out of it.

Found out I was 9 days late and Chris was 6 days late. I'm hoping that I don't go that far over! They say genetics play a part but also my mom was 13 years younger than me and a stick at the time! The only thing I can hope is true is that labor with me took 11 hours and Chris was 7 ... that is doable.

The full moon is today and so far nothing. Out of my baby group of about 20, 10 have had their babies so far but none this weekend. We were all hoping the full moon would bring out some more little ones ... no such luck unless someone goes into labor tonight! We'll have #11 tomorrow being born in Germany :) I love the internet and the fact that all of us from across the country (and world) and connect and provide encouragement and support ... even though we have never met.

Everyone is excited though. My Dad calls every Sunday to make sure Alice is still inside. I find it sweet and good to have my Dad checking up on me :) This has been a good year+ in being able to connect with my family again. My first niece was also born in August and Grace Carol is waiting patiently for Alice Wrenae to make her appearance on the scene. My Punk Princess will be here soon enough and we can all celebrate in all this new love that has come into our lives. And, of course, Daddy Dave can't wait. All he wants is Alice in his arms and I think that will seal the dream right there ... no dream, baby, it's reality! She does exist!

I spoke to soon! #11 may be coming tonight :) One of my girls messaged me on Facebook and she's going into labor and delivery. Go Momma Go!

NCB Affirmation

From one of the BBC girls ... Thank you for posting ... I'll be needing this!

__________________________________________________

In a few moments my baby will arrive. For the next few hours I will be exposed to labor’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. I am free to choose, and so I choose…



I choose love…

This is my baby’s birth day. Today I will put my needs, my desires, my hopes and my feelings on hold so I can concentrate on giving my baby the birth he needs.



I choose joy…

I will not give into the temptation to wallow in self-pity. I will celebrate each contraction as one step closer to holding my baby. I will remind myself that this is the event I have waited for so many months.



I choose peace…

I will not battle my body or my baby. I will simply allow my baby to use my body as an entrance point for life.



I choose patience…

I will overlook the inconveniences of labor. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will be thankful for the time to savor this change in my life. I will use this time to put my heart and mind in a state of joy to meet my baby.



I choose kindness…

I will be kind to my baby, he is alone and he may be frightened. I will not allow myself to benefit by putting him at risk.



I choose goodness…

I will not let myself give into the temptation to use labor as an excuse to be rude, angry, mean, hurtful, lazy or prideful. This is my first opportunity to teach my baby about relationships.



I choose faithfulness…

Today, I will keep my promise to my baby. My family will not question my love.



I choose gentleness…

Nothing is won by force. If I raise my voice may it only be in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of me.



I choose self control…

I will not allow myself to lower my standards simply because I am in labor. I will continue to strive for excellence regardless of the pain.



In a few moments my baby will arrive. For the next few hours I will be exposed to labor’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice.

Doc's Prediction

So I had to go see Doc Fisher because I pulled a muscle in my lower back and I couldn't live with the pain! I am feeling better today but the muscle is still sore and it was a painful adjustment since it was centered around my tailbone. Yeowch!

Anyway, he did my chemistry/nutrition like normal. Deficient in calcium (which I figured) and I mentioned that I hadn't been taking my prenatals since week 18 so he gave my Total Cal and Cyrofood which he wants me taking until I stop breastfeeding. Also, he tested to see if I was folic acid deficient ... and I'm NOT .. he's predicting I'm going in 3 weeks due to this! I have 5 weeks to go yet and I don't mind going at 4 weeks since then I make the October date ... let's hope for once Doc is wrong and I can make it to October 1st :)

Other than that, Dear Alice has grown big. She's all over and making my belly go every which way. I don't think my belly button is going to pop LOL My belly button is too deep to start with and even though she's stretching me out good, my button won't be going outy :( She is active lately and testing her strength by punching on my bladder and cervix ... at least she's still head down and no longer really moving transverse. Good positioning that will do well.

A couple of weeks ago I had some non-sequential braxton-hicks contractions. They were way apart anywhere from 15 minutes to 45 and not to harsh just uncomfortable. I'm getting there!

Dear Alice: Just so you know, you like it when Daddy plays guitar to you in Momma's belly. Someday he'll play to you on the outside.

Dear Alice: After days of lazy soft movements you have decided that TODAY is a good day to test your uterine boundaries? Good Golly Girl!

Pain in the ...

So, as she grows, I feel Alice in so many different new ways as she expands in my belly. Today, I was driving to go meet Dad, Aunt Sharon, Chris and Liz for dinner when Alice gave me the hardest kicks EVER. I literally was holding my side yowling, "Ow!" and Dave had to take the steering wheel. It felt like she was trying to bust her foot out of my uterus and into my leg :) I'm starting to distinguish her body parts. Mostly the butt and the feet. She sits head down when she's resting usually but she's all over the place generally. It's transverse that's starting to hurt the most, especially with these kicks. I'm very lucky my torso is so long because I think it makes it almost impossible for her to get into my ribs ... though she has tried and it's funky to have her rolling at the top of my belly. And I thought the pressure she gave me earlier on was bad ... I've seen NOTHING yet! LOL

Dear Alice ...

I swear you have doubled in size in the past few days. Please remember that Momma isn't a kickbag. Watch where you put those feet whilst you turn!

___________________________________

Seriously, she's trying to discover new places to hang out in my belly. She was pretty quiet for a few days and ended up turning her back into my back for awhile so I wasn't feeling her like normal. Today she's back with a vengeance! She got her butt stuck up high in my belly and she keeps booty shaking and kicking her feet into my back. It continues to become more uncomfortable as she grows. I'm about the point where I can distinguish her feet when she kicks outwards on my belly so that's cool. But, geez, these growth spurt is kicking in for sure.

Nursery is almost done. Pics to come when complete.

Other notes: Aunty Liz has a session of Braxton Hicks contractions earlier this week. She still fine. Her doc said my niece is moving into position ... but we still have time! She due end of the month. Doc is inducing her if she doesn't go before 31st. With the way things are going ... I think she'll have a fairly natural labor. Come on Baby Niece! Auntie Suz wants to meet you!

Dear Alice ...

Do you not sleep anymore? Seriously, child! Momma needs a rest! Not only do I feel like a big fat pig the past couple of days, but you are stretching the heck out of my belly with your aerobatic/ninja skills! OOOOWWWWWWW. And stay out of my ribs ... THOSE are off-limits and I don't want you getting too used to them. At least staying low doesn't take my breath away ... it just makes peeing hard to do ...

Dear Alice Wrenae...

This is how you were named!

One day Momma finally conceded that you might be a girl instead of a boy. So Daddy suggested we go visit Barnes & Noble and pick up a name book. It was HUGE! Over 100,001 names. So Daddy and I went to Red Robin and ate dinner while we started looking through the names. None popped out right away, but that was okay.

So for a couple of weeks, Momma started building a list of names from the book. I had read through the Gs when the day came for your ultrasound. Then we found out you were going to be a girl! I was relieved that, at least, I had started looking at names. So I sat down and started reading the list to Daddy. As I read through the Es, Daddy gave me a name I had thought of but hadn't yet wrote down and that name was Alice! Daddy immediately paired Alice with Emery (which was also on the list). So he decided to call you Alice Emery until I decided on your name.

Over the past 7 weeks, I have been deliberating over all the possible names. At one point I had over 80 names picked out. It was easy to start weeding out names - especially after I started trying to match first names and middle names. That was the biggest challenge! Finding two names that work together! Eventually I had the names narrowed down to 5 possible first names and 4 possible middle names. During the past week, it was down to 2 first names and 3 middle names.

One of the important things I wanted to do was to make sure you had some part of my name included in your name. My name was picked out by your Papa. "Susan" is because my Mamma's and Mother's middle names were Sue. The story behind "Renee" I heard a long time ago and your Papa keeps telling me he's going to tell me the story again ... and when he does I'll tell you. I had debated on using Renee as a first name or a middle name. I had also considered using Dorene (a derivative of Doris, my Mama's name) or Irene (my Great Aunt) as a middle name. If I picked a different middle name then Renee, then I wanted to use Lily in some way since "Susan" is Hebrew for Lily. Renee is French for "reborn."

So I finally decided that I liked Daddy's choice of "Alice" and I could call you Ali. Which meant that I wanted to use Renee for your middle name! Problem: No matter which last name we give you, then your initials would either be A.R.F. or A.R.G. I realized this on Monday and almost cried! So I had to find an option ... when I finally remembered while sitting at work, I typed "reborn" into every name finder I could get via Google. Most of them brought up the general spellings I was used to that were all derivatives of "René." Then it happened: I typed the meaning into a random name finder and it popped up! I thought, "Oh duh! Why didn't I think of that!" There "Wrenae" was sitting. The funny thing is that Wren was on my list of 80 names ... I just never equated Wren with Renee before! As soon as I saw Wrenae, I knew it was meant to be :) Daddy was happy because he loves the name Alice.

About your Name: Alice works so very well because nowadays it's not as common used as it used to be! In 2008 it ranked #326 on the list of popular names which means that if 1 million babies were born last year, only about 240 were named Alice. Alice is English and is a derivative of the French name Adelaide which means "Noble Kind." Wrenae is a derivative of Renee and means "Reborn." Here is the Wiki-link telling the roots and famous Alice's: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_(given_name) Also, my Great Aunt Ally (Great Grandma Imler's sister) was actually Alice and she was as sweet as pie. She made Dilly Dip for every family gathering. So I don't mind you having her name at all! Daddy thought of name because of Alice Cullen from "Twilight." She was his favorite character in the books.

So on July 15th, 2009 - as you kicked away - you were named Alice Wrenae (probably) Foster.

If you were a boy, you would be David James Foster (21st generation David Foster). But, alas, this will be the name of your future baby brother!

Dear Baby ...

... All night temper tantrums are not going to cut it. Momma gets cranky, too, when she's sore and achy.

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All weekend I slept soooo nice and comfortable. Then last night, Baby Girl decides she wants to pull an all-nighter ... and I needed my sleep! Needless to say, I tossed and turned all night while she was tossing and turning inside me. This morning my back was KILLING me and I was tired (of course) and a headache now pounds in my head ... and she is sleeping now ... for the most part. Ugh...

Momma Dreams ...

I dreamt that everyone was wrong ... it really is a boy ... F#@& what am I supposed to do with a girlie nursery? LOL And then I remembered that Brett has moved out so I had a whole other room to work with ... but I was screwed on the girlie clothes ...

End Dream Sequence.

Dear Baby ...

I see you, you little alien moving my belly all over! Just try to lay off kicking my kidneys ... owwww!

Ultrasound Results ...

Everything is a-ok! They confirmed that everything was in the correct places and all accounted for. She is growing in the 69th percentile (not to big and not too small!). Placenta is posterior and high enough to not be an issue. Amniotic fluid was something like 12 cc's or something. Most of the other details just got lost in translation! BUT I was correct on my conception date so the ACTUAL due date SHOULD BE October 7th ... they are keeping it at the 11th since she is my first. Heart rate remains around 140.

Other side effects that are kicking in:

• Stairs continue to vex me. I have to remember to go slow so I don't pass out.
• My toes are starting to look like snausages as I start to retain water :(
• My belly is getting harder as she fills out my insides.

She's pretty darn active! She wakes up around 9am. When I first get up she has to re-adjust but she goes back to sleep. During the morning she's up and down quite frequently depending on what I'm eating and if I have real sugar or caffeine. Active early and late afternoon. Usually all evening after 6:30-7 and then if I'm still awake at 2 am she starts going like a poltergeist!

We are working on names but I'm not giving any out until we decide for sure what to name her :)

Dear Baby ...

Please move up a bit! Momma doesn't like being kicked in the ovaries ... she may need them again someday. Thx!

Hello in There ...

It's a GIRL! I was totally excited today :) We went to St. Joe Mish for the ultrasound. The tech, Tam, was totally cool and nice and was 100% sure once the baby got into show-off position ("I've never read one wrong in 28 years."). The song that starting playing exactly when she put the scanner on my belly was Plain White T's "1,2,3,4" http://blip.fm/~7z39p She was mostly sitting on my left side (a normal placement as of late). Tam was able to ID everything she needed to and said everything looked to be in it's correct place (organs inside the body and all that good stuff). And what a profile pic we got! I think she has Dave's nose LOL. I'm pretty sure Dave was in awe the whole time. He had a big cheesy grin on his face and, of course, he couldn't look away from the monitor. It was fascinating to be able to feel and see what she was doing at the same time. Considering how long I've been feeling her, I finally got to see her!

As a side note: Yesterday I felt her move from the outside for the first time. Christie had said I should be able to feel it from the outside, so I sat real still when I woke up and sure enough there she was! It reminds me of a blow-up kiddy pool: I feel it on the inside like I'm in the pool feeling vibrations from someone kicking the inside edge ... I also can feel it from the outside like I'm just resting my hand on the edge of the pool. It's the weirdest two-places-at-one-time scenario!

So now I can decorate and all that jazz!

Obstruction of Destruction ... and something Cool!

So I had to call the midwife today for the first time due to "bowel issues" that caused severe cramping and muscle spasms. Coffee is the miracle cure and I better not forget that ... ever! Called at 8 am ... was fine by 9:30! 10x better in no time flat :) I also have to remember to watch what I'm eating. I haven't been eating enough fruits and veggies lately due to lack of cravings but I know, I know, I know I need to be eating them more often. Thus, lunch is salad and melons.

Something cool: Due to the coffee I was drinking this morning, I had a definite kick while waiting for the obstruction! Kicks at 15 1/2 weeks whoo hoo! I had been feeling movement but it's like a cat ball: hold a cat ball in your hand and slow move the jingle ball around and then numb that out even more and you just about have the rolling feeling I've had since about week 12.

First Doctor's Appointment ...

So Thursday, March 12, 2009, was our first doctor's appointment with Dr. Elizabeth Weston. I had to go see Dr. Weston because my regular, Dr. Bajuyo, is out on maternity leave.

So, we go in. They do the normal check-up (I'm alive apparently ... that's a relief!). And when the Dr. comes in, we do the next step ... trying to find the heartbeat. I'm laying on the table with my shirt pushed off my belly and my pants unbuttoned (a normal event everyday for me now) and this lady holding a scanner-thingy with some gel on it. She warns me that even at 10 weeks it is possible to not hear a heartbeat. So I hold my breath. Start in the middle. Can hear my heartbeat. Go left. Still just me. Slowly go back over the middle. To the right. Maybe? Down a bit. THERE!

Wompwompwompwompwompwompwompwomp compared to my womp womp womp womp ....

I finally exhaled, not even realizing I had been holding my breath that whole time and almost lost the sound. All I could do was lay there, close to hysterics, all because there is a little thing there! I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or to cry. I whispered to Dave at one point, "Can you hear it over there?" and he was laughing! Finally, she put the Doppler away. I was still elated for hours after! How crazy can you get? There is seriously a heartbeat inside my belly! Oh, and the heartbeat was strong (soundwise) and going at about 160. Doc said my uterus was already pushing out of my pelvis (which is why my belly started protruding more around that time I'm assuming).

Then we finished the appointment and I had to go get poked (almost passed out since the lady "said" the chairs didn't lean back and she didn't use the little needle like I asked ... bullshit).

Next appointment I think is the 9th. I have to call the Midwives at St. Joseph at some point and figure out when I'm going to switch over to them. Christi suggests I do this soon since they like to care for women for as much time as possible for delivery. Why midwife? Two words: water birth. Oh yeah. I've been totally for it since I saw it on TV or a movie when I was a kid. The good thing is that it's at St. Joe so if anything goes wrong, there is support right outside the door.

From My Private Blog: BIGGEST DAY EVER!!!

Okay, so I haven't been feeling exactly "normal" lately and I figured it possible might be just possibly be cuz we had had sex during my ovulation hence ... yeah I had two blue lines this morning :) I've never had two blue lines! Ever! Ever! I have two blue lines! I'm gonna wait until Thursday to test again to make sure ... but I have two blue lines!

I tested first thing this morning and I saw the result right before I got in the shower. I thought about it as I woke up under the water ... trying to let it sink in ... it didn't. I went in to get dressed and was going to wake Dave up ... but I didn't. I came back upstairs earlier than usually to lay down and tell him ... but I didn't. Finally I was getting ready to leave and I realized I COULDN'T leave for work until I told him! I wanted to jump on the bed and scream like a kid! Instead I went in and said, "Honey, you need to wake up. I need you to wake up because I have talk to you. ... I don't think we are going to be able to go to Jamaica." "Why?" "Because .. it's probably safe but who knows since I'll be 6 months by then anyway ..." "You???" "Uh huh ..." Loveyloveyloveylovey ... I don't think I've ever seen Dave's eyes shine as much as they were just then in that little light coming from the hallway :)

Now I'm getting happy as a clam :) I'm giddy! Here are some funny things though:

1. Sis-in-law makes funny comment on facebook status ... I pried it out of her ... she's 2 months along and just took the test this morning! HA! My dad is going to be a g-pa twice over within a few months of each other!

2. The due date is the 11th. I always wanted an October Baby. I always wanted my baby born on an 11. 11 is my favorite number. 11 is my lucky number.

3. If the kid came late, say the 13th, then 1 + 2 = 3 which would be my b-day (11) and Dave's b-day (12) and baby's b-day (13) heeheehee.... (current sidenote: I now know that the baby is expected by Dave's family to be born on the 10th ... otherwise they'll share their birthday with their older cousin!)

Oh geez! I'm Happy! Happy! Happy! And I have to pretend to be heart broken to people who are going to Jamaica ... oh well!