So we were trying to decide if she was just high-need or silent reflux or colicky. It appears that she is high need and colicky. She has her screaming episodes daily and she also hates being put down. I started her on 3 to 1 milk to soy formula because I was hardly keeping up. The soy is much better than the regular for her tummy. We got a swing from Grandma Foster and I thought it was going to be a perfect distraction ... lo and behold she will still cry for a long time when in it! At least I can set her down and do house work and she eventually will get distracted ... but it still is hard dealing with the screaming. If I get sleep it's not a big deal.
This week I thought we were finally scheduling. She went down 2 nights in a row at 1:30 a.m. and slept until 8ish ... Then the last two nights it's been 5 a.m. And now tonight she passed out at 10:30 p.m. I'm so screwed because I'm afraid to go to bed because as soon as I do she'll wake up!
She is smiling more! Her favorite place to be is on her changing table where she "talks" to the wall and smiles. It cracks me up! I'm getting better response from her during the day. If she wakes normally then I get BIG smiles :) She really likes responding with smiles when I call her a Silly Baby. Everyday is a new experience and I can't wait until we are done with the daily screaming fits and Alice can be a happy lovey baby like I can sometimes see ... just there on the edge :)
11.21.2009
11.02.2009
Alice's First Month ...
Two things I've learned so far:
1. Motherhood isn't easy.
2. You have no clue about anything until you experience it for yourself.
It has been hard for me to fall into the "mother" role. For weeks, I felt I was babysitting. I knew that Alice came from me, but I was still distant from her and the experience! As time goes on, it has gotten better due to co-sleeping and being more confident in calming her (when possible!). And I know she's mine now :)
So to start, Alice has generally slept at night 2-3 hours in a row. It's getting longer and better as the weeks go by. Last night, she slept 3 hours and then 4 hours! Usually it's 3 hours then she's up every 2 hours after that for changing and feeding. Also, it helps if she gets a nap in the afternoon/evening. She tends to sleep better at night.
CRYING. This has been the bane of my existence for weeks! For over 3 weeks, I could hardly put her down because she would SCREAM and WAIL. We finally got a swing from Dave's stepmom, Cindy, and it is my savior! She still has fits, but the swing distracts her attention after a bit and she calms ... and I can cook and clean up like I need to. I don't feel bad putting her in the swing and letting her cry because otherwise I'm just putting her down and letting her cry for a few minutes. This way at least she's in motion. I'm going to have Fisher test her Thursday for colic and reflux just to make sure that isn't a problem. Sometimes she just needs to cry and I don't think it's always in pain but sometimes it is. She's pretty gassy and when she's pushing it out she really gets upset.
Her weight gain has been great! When we left the hospital she was 6 lbs. 9 oz. Week one appointment she was 6 lbs. 13 oz. and week two she was up to 7 lbs. 5 oz. That made me feel better that I knew she was getting enough milk! I started pumping about a week and a half ago. I only was getting an ounce on one at a time but now her demand is going up and I'm generally getting an ounce and a half to 2 ounces now. I really can only pump in the evening because during the day she wants to eat every hour! By evening she slows down. The shield is still my savior but she can take the nip too if need be. The best hold is the football/clutch hold. And I have still to master nursing laying down! She never latches exactly right when we do that ... but at least it keeps her sleeping.
Some firsts:
- She smiled for the first time in the hospital. Most of her smiles the first weeks were fleeting and several were sleep smiles. Last week she finally started mimic smiling more. And when she wakes up on her own she'll smile too!
- Her first restaurant was Saturday and she slept for almost the whole time. I met Dave's family at the Chinese buffet and she was soooo good! Her first time out of the house was the 15th when we went to the doctor's and then to my work to drop off paperwork. Her first store was Target after her 2nd doctor's appointment and she cried the whole time! Needless to say, it was a quick trip!
- Daddy dressed her yesterday for the first time :) She was cute!
- Also, yesterday was the first time Daddy got to feed her a bottle. She ate about 2 1/2 ounces ... and then she slept those 3 hours alone :)
- First bath went well. The warm water calms her down ... but she likes to pee after she gets out LOL
- Her first shower was yesterday with me. Then Daddy took her and dressed her.
- She "laughs" in her sleep. Right now it sounds like hiccup breathing but she's smiling when she does it.
- She had one night of 5 hours of sleep during week 2. It gave me hope but she hasn't repeated it since.
- Her head control is great! She's been lifting her head since week one and by now she holds it up mostly on her own for long periods. Her tummy time is on my chest and she lifts her head quite well and it even rolling herself from tummy to her side in my arms.
- First 3 hours sleeping alone was last night. It went well!
Everyday is better than the last as she grows and becomes more coherent. I look forward to getting actual responses out of her and when she smiles because she's happy and not just mimicking :)
1. Motherhood isn't easy.
2. You have no clue about anything until you experience it for yourself.
It has been hard for me to fall into the "mother" role. For weeks, I felt I was babysitting. I knew that Alice came from me, but I was still distant from her and the experience! As time goes on, it has gotten better due to co-sleeping and being more confident in calming her (when possible!). And I know she's mine now :)
So to start, Alice has generally slept at night 2-3 hours in a row. It's getting longer and better as the weeks go by. Last night, she slept 3 hours and then 4 hours! Usually it's 3 hours then she's up every 2 hours after that for changing and feeding. Also, it helps if she gets a nap in the afternoon/evening. She tends to sleep better at night.
CRYING. This has been the bane of my existence for weeks! For over 3 weeks, I could hardly put her down because she would SCREAM and WAIL. We finally got a swing from Dave's stepmom, Cindy, and it is my savior! She still has fits, but the swing distracts her attention after a bit and she calms ... and I can cook and clean up like I need to. I don't feel bad putting her in the swing and letting her cry because otherwise I'm just putting her down and letting her cry for a few minutes. This way at least she's in motion. I'm going to have Fisher test her Thursday for colic and reflux just to make sure that isn't a problem. Sometimes she just needs to cry and I don't think it's always in pain but sometimes it is. She's pretty gassy and when she's pushing it out she really gets upset.
Her weight gain has been great! When we left the hospital she was 6 lbs. 9 oz. Week one appointment she was 6 lbs. 13 oz. and week two she was up to 7 lbs. 5 oz. That made me feel better that I knew she was getting enough milk! I started pumping about a week and a half ago. I only was getting an ounce on one at a time but now her demand is going up and I'm generally getting an ounce and a half to 2 ounces now. I really can only pump in the evening because during the day she wants to eat every hour! By evening she slows down. The shield is still my savior but she can take the nip too if need be. The best hold is the football/clutch hold. And I have still to master nursing laying down! She never latches exactly right when we do that ... but at least it keeps her sleeping.
Some firsts:
- She smiled for the first time in the hospital. Most of her smiles the first weeks were fleeting and several were sleep smiles. Last week she finally started mimic smiling more. And when she wakes up on her own she'll smile too!
- Her first restaurant was Saturday and she slept for almost the whole time. I met Dave's family at the Chinese buffet and she was soooo good! Her first time out of the house was the 15th when we went to the doctor's and then to my work to drop off paperwork. Her first store was Target after her 2nd doctor's appointment and she cried the whole time! Needless to say, it was a quick trip!
- Daddy dressed her yesterday for the first time :) She was cute!
- Also, yesterday was the first time Daddy got to feed her a bottle. She ate about 2 1/2 ounces ... and then she slept those 3 hours alone :)
- First bath went well. The warm water calms her down ... but she likes to pee after she gets out LOL
- Her first shower was yesterday with me. Then Daddy took her and dressed her.
- She "laughs" in her sleep. Right now it sounds like hiccup breathing but she's smiling when she does it.
- She had one night of 5 hours of sleep during week 2. It gave me hope but she hasn't repeated it since.
- Her head control is great! She's been lifting her head since week one and by now she holds it up mostly on her own for long periods. Her tummy time is on my chest and she lifts her head quite well and it even rolling herself from tummy to her side in my arms.
- First 3 hours sleeping alone was last night. It went well!
Everyday is better than the last as she grows and becomes more coherent. I look forward to getting actual responses out of her and when she smiles because she's happy and not just mimicking :)
The Whole Story....
So false labor started Friday the 2nd. I had light contractions all day and they intensified in the evening. I was so uncomfortable going to bed but by the time I woke up they had stopped. The next bad bout started Sunday night and continued into Monday. They were bad enough that I called off work since I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate. They were still slightly erratic in timing but more consistant than on Friday. The peaked at about 5 minutes apart and I went to the midwives to get checked and was only 2 cm and 50% effaced. Mary told me to go home and rest. When I woke up they had stopped again. That night I put in for my maternity leave effective immediately since I knew I was close and with contractions I just couldn't see concentrating at work.
So Tuesday started fine. I slept in. I had random contractions here and there. When we were ready to go relax in bed at 11 pm I started contracting again. By rough estimates they started at about 5-6 minutes apart. By the time we were going to sleep at 2 am, I couldn't fall asleep because they started intensifying. I got up around 2:15 am and started timing. They were coming about 4 minutes apart for about a minute apiece. After 30 minutes I called the midwife service and told them I was in labor since I couldn't hardly sit during the contractions. After another 30 minutes, neither sitting nor walking was helping to quell the pain. I woke Dave up at 3 am and told him it was time to go to the hospital. We were packed and out the door and to the ER by 3:30 am. At this point I was on the verge of screaming with every contraction. While in the ER waiting for the nurse to come get us, I was literally contracting every 3 minutes and so tired already I was crying and wailing during each one.
They got us upstairs and situated by 4:30 am. I was only 3 cm and 50% effaced. I was devastated at having such little progress made with all the pain I was feeling. At first I refused any drugs but Mary talked me into at least taking Nubane so I could relax between contractions since I hadn't had any sleep and that was effecting my whole body. The nubane basically knocked me out between contractions which was great except they kept asking me questions while I was in between and it was so hard to concentrate on what they were saying! It really didn't help with the contractions themselves. It took the finally edge off of them but they were still just as intense. At about 8 am they started filling the tub so I could get in and see if the water would help de-intensify the contractions. It was ready by 9-9:30 am and I was still in pain with each contraction. I got in the water and at first it helped a bit ... but that didn't last long. Before I knew it, the Nubane had wore off and I was so tired I seriously was passing out between contractions. They were all over my mid-section from my back to my front but mostly in my back. After about an hour in the tub we knew it wasn't working. Mary told me straight up that I wasn't going to last at this rate. The options were keeping going and take the chance of ending in c-section since I was so tired I might not be able to push or take the epidural. I was so sad but I had to do something to stop the pain (which had me screaming at this point). I opted for the epi and continued to cry (I didn't know I had so many tears in me!). I was scared and tired and in pain. I was scared shitless to have a needle stuck in my back and in fear of what "if" I moved or they moved it wrong etc. They brought the anesthesiologist in and he got ready. I'm still screaming between contractions and they are coming quicker and I'm upset about what's about to happen and tired and etc. They had me sit on the edge of the bed and Dave held me up. I was screaming and crying and I had 3 contractions during the time it took to prep my back and stick it in and I couldn't move for fear of something going wrong. The anesthesiologist kept telling me "Stop screaming! You aren't making this easy and I'm not doing anything!" and I was screaming back "I'm having fucking contractions! I can't help it!" I could feel the pressure from the needle and little weird feeling of the catheter being inserted ... but once it was in and secure they started pumping everything in ... and I immediately relaxed. Thank goodness!!!
While I was getting out of the tub, Sharon showed up. I remember telling her, "Don't ever do this ... it sucks!" but I also apparently said, "I don't know why anyone would put themselves through this!" When you are in that much pain, everything changes at that moment. As time passes, your brain starts blocking out the severity of pain and emotion that you went through. I know it's a mental coping block, but I still don't want to forget the intensity of that pain and experience. The epidural was absolutely necessary and a life saver. I know now that I couldn't have made it through this labor at the rate I had been going. Sharon said, "Now I know: epidural for sure!" Bless her heart for being there with us <3
After I relaxed I was able to drink water better and have some pedia-pops to pump calories into me. Sharon went to lunch with Amber and Dave and I slept for a few hours. They came in every hour to turn me from side to side (so the epi didn't take effect only on one side). Also had a catheter (which was funny to me since I didn't have to worry about peeing! LOL). I downed water like it was going out of style. The nurses were impressed. When we woke up, I felt so much better. I was only 5 cm though by about 5 pm. By this time, Marianne was on duty. They suggested pitocin to get things going more and I put my foot down and said, "No. Nothing has went the way I planned today. Right now, I'm feeling good. I'm making slow progress but still progressing. If I get anything I wanted today, it's going to be no pit." And so they let me labor on. I was 8 cm by 8 pm and they broke my water. And hour later I was 8-9 cm and Marianne asked if I wanted to start pushing. I said, "No, let's let her descend more on her own." She was cool with that. So we watched So You Think You Can Dance and Glee :) At the end of Glee, Marianne came in and told me it was time to start pushing. I was cool with it by that time since I was relaxed and ready.
So by 10 pm I started pushing. We started with me on my back. Marianne stretching me with each push so I hopefully wouldn't tear or need to be cut. We started on the back for about 45 minutes then switched to my side for about 30 minutes. Went back to back for a few. By the time I was making better pushing progression, we switched back to side in the last 15 minutes. Marianne saw hair while she was still up a bit. When I switched back to side, the head was trying to get past the bone. That when we discovered she was face-up (sunny-side) and that explained my pain: back labor. If she would have been turned backwards the labor might have been slightly different. While I wasn't feeling pain so much, I could tell when I was contracting (they had a hard time all day picking up my contractions but I could feel them for the most part). The weirdest feeling was when she finally pushed past the pubic bone and I could feel her head slightly moving between contractions ... weird! So I was on my side. Sharon was holding my leg up for me ... She was surprised at how hard I had to push against her when I was pushing. Dave was down with Marianne because he was going to pull her out. So we got down the final pushing and it finally was hurting at she was crowning and I kept pushing because I couldn't deal with pausing for contractions with her head RIGHT THERE. I felt the pressure release as her head came out and the rest of her body followed her right out. She didn't cry at first but her eyes were wide open when Dave put her on my stomach and she looked up at me. It was some epiphany moment, but time did slow all of a sudden. Just Alice looking up at me and me saying "Hi!" They took her pretty quick after Dave cut the cord to get the fluid out of her lungs. That took a few minutes but she was fine. The placenta delivery was fast and easy ... barely had to push. After that the exhaustion set in and all I could do was lay there staring over to where they were cleaning her up. Marianne had to stitch up one whole. She said I had some random 2nd degree tears but they should heal fine on their own. The had to give me a local because the epi had been wearing off towards the end and I could feel the stitching as she started. They had to wait for 2 hours after delivery to move me so we just held the baby and Sharon went home to get some sleep before working the next day.
The worst after birth experience was getting up to get cleaned up. No one tells you how much pain you are in when you try going to the bathroom! OWWWWWW. That was almost as painful as the contractions I had been having earlier in the day. I was so tired all I could do was cry through it. When we finally got to the recovery room, Dave had to leave and go let the dogs out (it's like 2 am on the 8th at this point). The night nurse I had took the baby to the nursery thank goodness. She was supposed to make up the couch bed for Dave but all she did was throw blankets on it and walk out. She wasn't very attentive. I was not happy but so tired I couldn't yell about it. So Dave had to figure out how the damn couch worked when he got back and then didn't sleep well on it at all. The next day was full of holding baby and napping and all that stuff. She finally fed really good in the evening for about 30 minutes each side ... and made me almost raw. Dave didn't stay that night since he needed good sleep because he was going to be up for 24 hours the next day, so he went home to rest. And so began my night of hell! After she made me raw, I sent her to the nursery around midnight so I could get some rest. They brought her back at 12:45 saying she was hungry. It took me 1 1/2 hours to get her to feed. I sent her back again at 2:30 am. They brought her back at 3:30 am saying she was hungry. I was so sore and swollen that I couldn't get her to feed. I couldn't send her back until 7:30 am and I was so tired and frustrated from trying to get her to take my swollen self I was crying and passing out. They realized when they came to pick her up how gone I was and agreed to take the baby finally (they refused around 4:30-5 saying she needed to eat before they took her back). Even then, I was still unable to sleep long periods as Dr. Bajuyo came in and the nurses and Marianne ... it was lots of people. Dave finally got there around 10-11 and brought the baby back. That was a long day. By the time he was done with class and showed up in the afternoon, I was in tears trying to feed her and he convinced me to call the lactation consultant back it to help. She brought a shield and that has been my savior ever since! I seriously won't have made it past another day or two without it. So that helped. So the day went on. We got checked out around midnight (I refused to stay in the hospital again that night and risk the same thing happening again overnight). I didn't get anything but maybe 2 hours of sleep the first night and day home. The next day, Chris and Liz came over and I was able to catch another 1 1/2 that evening and they made us dinner! Thank goodness. My mom came that night to visit too and gushed over Ali and Gracie.
Alice's first visitor was Nik. My Dad and Tammy on Thursday afternoon. I was so proud to show her off! Chris and Liz showed up with Grace and Devon later. Nik saved me Friday evening too and held and watched her a bit while I napped. I feel asleep at one point nursing her while she was there. It was an exhausting couple of days for sure.
The good things about Alice's birth:
- The epi saved me. After they gave me that I didn't care who stuck what in my whooha or what they stuck in me. I was chill and going with the flow.
- Because of the epi, pushing went easy and almost painless.
- I got a smile the next day and that made me happy.
- The food was good and the menu was extensive so I ate really well while there.
- For the most part, the nurses were very responsive and kept me supplied in water and ice packs.
- Ice packs rock!
- Pacifiers help alot.
- Alice's hospital pics were totally cute. I still need to figure out how to get her to be still and not cry during picture time like they did!
- I'm so happy Dave was there for the whole thing. I needed an anchor and he kept me on task. I couldn't imagine doing it without him and love him even more so for doing that for me.
- I'm so happy Sharon was able to share in the whole experience too. Having her as Alice's official unofficial godmother makes us both feel happy and secure that if anything ever happens to us Alice will be in good hands who will love her ... even more so because she got to play a part in bringing her into the world.
So Tuesday started fine. I slept in. I had random contractions here and there. When we were ready to go relax in bed at 11 pm I started contracting again. By rough estimates they started at about 5-6 minutes apart. By the time we were going to sleep at 2 am, I couldn't fall asleep because they started intensifying. I got up around 2:15 am and started timing. They were coming about 4 minutes apart for about a minute apiece. After 30 minutes I called the midwife service and told them I was in labor since I couldn't hardly sit during the contractions. After another 30 minutes, neither sitting nor walking was helping to quell the pain. I woke Dave up at 3 am and told him it was time to go to the hospital. We were packed and out the door and to the ER by 3:30 am. At this point I was on the verge of screaming with every contraction. While in the ER waiting for the nurse to come get us, I was literally contracting every 3 minutes and so tired already I was crying and wailing during each one.
They got us upstairs and situated by 4:30 am. I was only 3 cm and 50% effaced. I was devastated at having such little progress made with all the pain I was feeling. At first I refused any drugs but Mary talked me into at least taking Nubane so I could relax between contractions since I hadn't had any sleep and that was effecting my whole body. The nubane basically knocked me out between contractions which was great except they kept asking me questions while I was in between and it was so hard to concentrate on what they were saying! It really didn't help with the contractions themselves. It took the finally edge off of them but they were still just as intense. At about 8 am they started filling the tub so I could get in and see if the water would help de-intensify the contractions. It was ready by 9-9:30 am and I was still in pain with each contraction. I got in the water and at first it helped a bit ... but that didn't last long. Before I knew it, the Nubane had wore off and I was so tired I seriously was passing out between contractions. They were all over my mid-section from my back to my front but mostly in my back. After about an hour in the tub we knew it wasn't working. Mary told me straight up that I wasn't going to last at this rate. The options were keeping going and take the chance of ending in c-section since I was so tired I might not be able to push or take the epidural. I was so sad but I had to do something to stop the pain (which had me screaming at this point). I opted for the epi and continued to cry (I didn't know I had so many tears in me!). I was scared and tired and in pain. I was scared shitless to have a needle stuck in my back and in fear of what "if" I moved or they moved it wrong etc. They brought the anesthesiologist in and he got ready. I'm still screaming between contractions and they are coming quicker and I'm upset about what's about to happen and tired and etc. They had me sit on the edge of the bed and Dave held me up. I was screaming and crying and I had 3 contractions during the time it took to prep my back and stick it in and I couldn't move for fear of something going wrong. The anesthesiologist kept telling me "Stop screaming! You aren't making this easy and I'm not doing anything!" and I was screaming back "I'm having fucking contractions! I can't help it!" I could feel the pressure from the needle and little weird feeling of the catheter being inserted ... but once it was in and secure they started pumping everything in ... and I immediately relaxed. Thank goodness!!!
While I was getting out of the tub, Sharon showed up. I remember telling her, "Don't ever do this ... it sucks!" but I also apparently said, "I don't know why anyone would put themselves through this!" When you are in that much pain, everything changes at that moment. As time passes, your brain starts blocking out the severity of pain and emotion that you went through. I know it's a mental coping block, but I still don't want to forget the intensity of that pain and experience. The epidural was absolutely necessary and a life saver. I know now that I couldn't have made it through this labor at the rate I had been going. Sharon said, "Now I know: epidural for sure!" Bless her heart for being there with us <3
After I relaxed I was able to drink water better and have some pedia-pops to pump calories into me. Sharon went to lunch with Amber and Dave and I slept for a few hours. They came in every hour to turn me from side to side (so the epi didn't take effect only on one side). Also had a catheter (which was funny to me since I didn't have to worry about peeing! LOL). I downed water like it was going out of style. The nurses were impressed. When we woke up, I felt so much better. I was only 5 cm though by about 5 pm. By this time, Marianne was on duty. They suggested pitocin to get things going more and I put my foot down and said, "No. Nothing has went the way I planned today. Right now, I'm feeling good. I'm making slow progress but still progressing. If I get anything I wanted today, it's going to be no pit." And so they let me labor on. I was 8 cm by 8 pm and they broke my water. And hour later I was 8-9 cm and Marianne asked if I wanted to start pushing. I said, "No, let's let her descend more on her own." She was cool with that. So we watched So You Think You Can Dance and Glee :) At the end of Glee, Marianne came in and told me it was time to start pushing. I was cool with it by that time since I was relaxed and ready.
So by 10 pm I started pushing. We started with me on my back. Marianne stretching me with each push so I hopefully wouldn't tear or need to be cut. We started on the back for about 45 minutes then switched to my side for about 30 minutes. Went back to back for a few. By the time I was making better pushing progression, we switched back to side in the last 15 minutes. Marianne saw hair while she was still up a bit. When I switched back to side, the head was trying to get past the bone. That when we discovered she was face-up (sunny-side) and that explained my pain: back labor. If she would have been turned backwards the labor might have been slightly different. While I wasn't feeling pain so much, I could tell when I was contracting (they had a hard time all day picking up my contractions but I could feel them for the most part). The weirdest feeling was when she finally pushed past the pubic bone and I could feel her head slightly moving between contractions ... weird! So I was on my side. Sharon was holding my leg up for me ... She was surprised at how hard I had to push against her when I was pushing. Dave was down with Marianne because he was going to pull her out. So we got down the final pushing and it finally was hurting at she was crowning and I kept pushing because I couldn't deal with pausing for contractions with her head RIGHT THERE. I felt the pressure release as her head came out and the rest of her body followed her right out. She didn't cry at first but her eyes were wide open when Dave put her on my stomach and she looked up at me. It was some epiphany moment, but time did slow all of a sudden. Just Alice looking up at me and me saying "Hi!" They took her pretty quick after Dave cut the cord to get the fluid out of her lungs. That took a few minutes but she was fine. The placenta delivery was fast and easy ... barely had to push. After that the exhaustion set in and all I could do was lay there staring over to where they were cleaning her up. Marianne had to stitch up one whole. She said I had some random 2nd degree tears but they should heal fine on their own. The had to give me a local because the epi had been wearing off towards the end and I could feel the stitching as she started. They had to wait for 2 hours after delivery to move me so we just held the baby and Sharon went home to get some sleep before working the next day.
The worst after birth experience was getting up to get cleaned up. No one tells you how much pain you are in when you try going to the bathroom! OWWWWWW. That was almost as painful as the contractions I had been having earlier in the day. I was so tired all I could do was cry through it. When we finally got to the recovery room, Dave had to leave and go let the dogs out (it's like 2 am on the 8th at this point). The night nurse I had took the baby to the nursery thank goodness. She was supposed to make up the couch bed for Dave but all she did was throw blankets on it and walk out. She wasn't very attentive. I was not happy but so tired I couldn't yell about it. So Dave had to figure out how the damn couch worked when he got back and then didn't sleep well on it at all. The next day was full of holding baby and napping and all that stuff. She finally fed really good in the evening for about 30 minutes each side ... and made me almost raw. Dave didn't stay that night since he needed good sleep because he was going to be up for 24 hours the next day, so he went home to rest. And so began my night of hell! After she made me raw, I sent her to the nursery around midnight so I could get some rest. They brought her back at 12:45 saying she was hungry. It took me 1 1/2 hours to get her to feed. I sent her back again at 2:30 am. They brought her back at 3:30 am saying she was hungry. I was so sore and swollen that I couldn't get her to feed. I couldn't send her back until 7:30 am and I was so tired and frustrated from trying to get her to take my swollen self I was crying and passing out. They realized when they came to pick her up how gone I was and agreed to take the baby finally (they refused around 4:30-5 saying she needed to eat before they took her back). Even then, I was still unable to sleep long periods as Dr. Bajuyo came in and the nurses and Marianne ... it was lots of people. Dave finally got there around 10-11 and brought the baby back. That was a long day. By the time he was done with class and showed up in the afternoon, I was in tears trying to feed her and he convinced me to call the lactation consultant back it to help. She brought a shield and that has been my savior ever since! I seriously won't have made it past another day or two without it. So that helped. So the day went on. We got checked out around midnight (I refused to stay in the hospital again that night and risk the same thing happening again overnight). I didn't get anything but maybe 2 hours of sleep the first night and day home. The next day, Chris and Liz came over and I was able to catch another 1 1/2 that evening and they made us dinner! Thank goodness. My mom came that night to visit too and gushed over Ali and Gracie.
Alice's first visitor was Nik. My Dad and Tammy on Thursday afternoon. I was so proud to show her off! Chris and Liz showed up with Grace and Devon later. Nik saved me Friday evening too and held and watched her a bit while I napped. I feel asleep at one point nursing her while she was there. It was an exhausting couple of days for sure.
The good things about Alice's birth:
- The epi saved me. After they gave me that I didn't care who stuck what in my whooha or what they stuck in me. I was chill and going with the flow.
- Because of the epi, pushing went easy and almost painless.
- I got a smile the next day and that made me happy.
- The food was good and the menu was extensive so I ate really well while there.
- For the most part, the nurses were very responsive and kept me supplied in water and ice packs.
- Ice packs rock!
- Pacifiers help alot.
- Alice's hospital pics were totally cute. I still need to figure out how to get her to be still and not cry during picture time like they did!
- I'm so happy Dave was there for the whole thing. I needed an anchor and he kept me on task. I couldn't imagine doing it without him and love him even more so for doing that for me.
- I'm so happy Sharon was able to share in the whole experience too. Having her as Alice's official unofficial godmother makes us both feel happy and secure that if anything ever happens to us Alice will be in good hands who will love her ... even more so because she got to play a part in bringing her into the world.
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