DAY 5

ALMOST HALF WAY DONE with the cleanse!! YEAH!

Menu #5

Breakfast: Fridge Oatmeal
Snack: Egg and Apple
Lunch: Leftover Taco Wraps with Extra Slaw Dressing
Snack: Hummus and Veggies
Dinner: Greek Chicken and Quinoa

Assessment of Day 4:

Well, after being exhausted 2 days in a row, I said screw it all and went to bed at 10:30. I ended up with 7 hours of sleep THANK GOODNESS and I think my body is finally happy with me today for doing that! Not really achy today nor too tired. I need to make sure I'm getting my sleep in for the rest of this challenge.

No weird cravings except for the vinegar still. Dave was wanting beer yesterday. Ice, cold, refreshing BEER. I told him to SHUT IT because I didn't want to start thinking about it LOL. Once I get past a couple of days, the alcohol thing isn't too bad for me since I've done it before. Now, I would love some ice cream at this point. Or cheese soup. Later in the day: I'm wanting BW3s ... I'm in so much trouble!

Leftover Taco Wraps and Slaw Salad with extra Dressing



Easy peasy lunch again: leftovers. I cut the slaw up smaller and added the rest of the romaine to it to bulk it up for lunch. Added the leftover turkey. Threw chopped tomatoes on mine. I threw together a quick dressing but I didn't measure anything so I'll try and give you a decent description:

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Avocado Balsamic Dressing

1/4 c. Balsamic
1/4 c. EVOO
Cracked Black Pepper
1/2 an avocado
Squeeze of lime

Blend. Pour over the salad the night before so it blends the tastes together
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Notes: MUCH better flavor-wise this way over the way we had it last night. Letting that dressing sit turned it into a perfect mushy of taco salad. OH YUM.


Greek Chicken and Garlic Quinoa



I WANT A GRAIN! So I'm making quinoa. You can't go wrong with it. It's yummy and mushy and GRAIN. 10,000 different ways to make it up (like pasta). Mmmmmmm And I'm going to go ballistic over the kalamata olives I have a feeling.

Recipe is adapted from: Greek Chicken Thighs from For the Love of Cooking

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Greek Chicken

1 tbsp of EVOO
1/2 onion thinly sliced
1 clove garlic

Heat and saute in a pan. Set onions aside

4 Boneless skinless chicken breasts
Pepper
Dash of sea salt
oregano to taste
Garlic Garlic

In same onion pan, rub and season the chicken. Sear on each side for about 2 minutes per side.

Place Chicken in a glass baking dish.

1 lemon
zest from 1 lemon
Handful of kalamata olives
handful of grape tomatoes
oregano to taste
(feta ... next time)

Pour juice and zest over chicken. Place onions, kalamata Olives (halved), and grape tomatoes (halved) over chicken. Cover and bake in 425 degree oven for 25-30 minutes.

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Garlic Quinoa

1 c. Quinoa
2 c. water
Onion Onion
Garlic Garlic
Squeeze of lemon
chop some kalamata olives up small

Place everything in pan. Bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer 15 minutes. Let set 5.
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Notes: YUM! Everyone ate this! Alice even ate the quinoa and the chicken. The lemon really brings it all together but isn't overpowering. Chicken was moist and searing before baking really did help seal in the juices. This was a great eating day!

Dia de Quatro

Menu #4

Breakfast: Fridge Oatmeal
Snack: Strawberries & Egg
Lunch: Spinach Salad with Leftover Chicken and Sweet Onion Dressing
Snack: Hummus and veggies
Dinner: Turkey Taco Wrap-Ups

Day #3 Assessment:

Day 3 ended up being better than 1 or 2 except for the fact I'M EXHAUSTED. I don't know if it's because my body is in overdrive or that I haven't had any downtime since I work, come home, clean up, make dinner, clean up, prep for next day, clean ... go to bed at midnight. Making food for my family is a PITA truthfully! I'm almost glad I don't have any sessions right now because I don't think I would have the energy to do it all right now.

And I'm craving vinegar. Since we haven't been eating processed foods, there is little to no sodium going into our diet and I think that my tastes are evolving to compensate by making other flavors more satisfying: like vinegar. I've never been a huge vinegar fan. Just a touch here and there. Right now, I could down a whole bottle and still want MORE. And having 4 types on hand is awesome, too. White, Red Wine, Basalmic (which is REALLY surprising since I've never liked it before) and apple cider all grace my cupboard for use currently.

Spinach Salad with Leftover Chicken and Sweet Onion Dressing



Ok, so using the leftover chicken (shredded) from last night, I put together a spinach salad, added green onion, sliced zucchini into slivers, and made up a fresh batch of the Sweet Onion Dressing. You can find all the details for the recipes on that on yesterday's post.

Notes: I think y'all know how in love with this dressing I am, so THIS was perfect, of course. I added a touch more vinegar to the mix than I had for the chicken and I was in heaven!

Turkey Taco Wrap-Ups



This is soooooooooooo pretty! Seriously, I was excited about the possible flavors and putting it together was even more eye and nose candy.

The recipe is based from Lettuce-Wrapped Tacos from Nutrition and Wellness Bytes Blog. What I did different: I used ground white turkey that I purchased from the local Farmer's Market; didn't use green salsa, salt or cilantro. I bought fresh romaine while at the market for the wraps.

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Cabbage Slaw Topping

2-3 cups red cabbage, chopped (try to get it thin - more slaw like)
1 cup cucumber, chopped
1/3 cup red onion, chopped
1/2 cup mango, diced
3 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
Cracked black pepper to taste

Mix together and set aside to let the flavors mesh. Leaving overnight would make it stronger.
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Turkey Taco Meat

1 lb lean ground turkey
1 clove garlic
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 Tbsp cumin
1 tsp red pepper
1 tbsp red pepper flake
1 tsbp apple cider vinegar (this was a last minute addition to try and give it more flavor)

Lettuce leaves, for wrapping (Romaine or green leaf work well.)
Avocado, chopped for topping

Flavor meat in pan and cook through. Take place meat on a lettuce leaf topped with the Cabbage Slaw and avocado.
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Notes: Well, Alice kept trying to steal my mango! I was cutting it up and gave her some and she fell in love. Just another fruit to add to her menu (Buddy already eats mango as part of his line-up). She DID eat it after I put the balsamic on so I was very happy with that fact plus she had a few bites of turkey (WIN). Lettuce didn't hold in the filling very well; we shouldn't have filled them so full. Also, that turkey needed SODIUM. I miss sodium. It was REALLY good turkey, but if I could have seasoned it to my liking, it would have been better. Overall, VERY pretty dish and good. And I would definitely make the slaw the night before and let the vinegar break down the cabbage more.

La La La Day 3

Menu #3

Breakfast: Fridge Oatmeal
Snack: Kiwi and Egg
Lunch: Veggie Salad with Salmon and Rosemary Vinaigrette
Snack: Hummus and Veggies
Dinner: Sweet Onion Marinated Chicken and Roasted Butternut and Summer Squash

Day #2 Assessment:

I still want a drink. And it's my birthday. And I'm not going to have a drink. Because I'm cleansing. Lordy fraking hell!

Still hungry all day long for the most part. Eating an egg for snack yesterday was HEAVEN! I'm doing that again today. That hummus has my heart and stomach because it rocks. And I think I'm more tired than normal? I'm not feeling fully rested with 5-6 hours of sleep which is odd for me. I'm thinking it has to do with my body working overtime getting all the crap out of my system. I NEED SLEEP.

Going non-processed is taking A LOT of time. I think everything tastes better, for the most part, but it really cuts into any downtime I have. A.K.A. between cooking and cleaning and prepping and working 40 hours: I have no downtime nor extra work time to work on ABD stuff. I'm going to have to break and take shortcuts at some point if I want to time to work on my business. We'll see.

On to the food ....

Veggie Salad with Salmon and Rosemary Vinaigrette



Ok, the main base to this is from yesterday's dinner: The Salmon and the marinade

I kept about a quarter of the marinade in the processor and put the rest on the fish to cook. We had probably about 4 oz. of fish left over each for today's salad. After adding the vinegar to the marinade, it totally reminds me of cucumber salad (with vinegar and sugar - you know what I'm talking about??). Salmon will go over it at lunch time. Here it is all mixed at lunch. BEAUTIFUL.



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Rosemary Marinade turned into Vinaigrette

1/4 of the previous marinade
Add about 1/4 c. white vinegar
Blend and pour over salad

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Veggie Salad

Green Pepper
Yellow Pepper
Red Pepper
Cucumber
Zucchini
Onion
Grape Tomatoes

Prep beforehand and add vinaigrette so the veggies can soak up the flavor.
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Notes: IN LOVE. At first bite, I was wondering if I should have added more vinegar. As I made sure it was ALL mixed, the flavor ended up just perfect. Not too heavy to accompany this wonderful mash of mostly crunchy textures in my mouth! It's so pretty and delicious.


Sweet Onion Chicken with Butternut and Summer Squash



OMG I can't WAIT to eat this. I prepped the marinade last night and I want to take a straw and suck it all down ... it is THAT GOOD.

The dressing idea came from my friend Ashley since she uses a pre-made one to make the chicken that goes with her Strawberry Vinaigrette (see Day #1 for that salad dressing). I went and found a from-scratch recipe that would fit the bill. Sweet Vidalia Onion Dressing on SparkRecipes. Differences: I used agave instead of sugar (and less!) and used fresh garlic over garlic powder. Opppps didn't add any pepper either.

I pulled the chicken from the freezer last night and defrosted it enough to get it started and threw it in a bag with these evil yumminess to marinade before dinner tonight. I plan on baking it when I get home. Leftovers for lunch salad tomorrow and I'll make up more dressing if I have to. I could eat this every freaking day!

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Sweet Onion Dressing

1 yellow onion
1/4 c. EVOO
6 tbsp. white vinegar
2 tbsp. agave
1 1/2 tsp. dry mustard
2 cloves of garlic
1/2 tsp. celery seed

Cut the ends off the onion and take off the outer layer and pierce it in several places. Place in a microwave safe bowl with water and cook 3-4 minutes until soft. Either set aside to cool or rinse with cold water. Cut up into smaller pieces. Put all ingredients into blender and blend until "smooth."
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Butternut & Summer Squash

Garlic Garlic
Fiesta Party mix
Onions
Oil


Toss together in a pan and cover for about 12-15 minutes. Let it brown for more flavor.
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Notes: YUM. Nuff said.

Challenge Day #2

Menu Day #2

Breakfast: Fridge Oatmeal
Lunch: Salad with Beans from last night, Avocado, Tomato and Avocado Cilantro Dressing
Dinner: Rosemary Salmon and Roasted Asparagus and Zucchini
Snacks: Strawberries, Egg, Homemade Garlic Hummus and Veggies

Assessment of Day #1:

I want cheese. And a big glass of milk. And a fucking DRINK. Otherwise I was STARVING all day and I'm usually someone who "starves." I usually eat twice a day and I'm good. Drinking the fiber drink and eating oatmeal first thing in the morning must be kicking my ass into gear because I'm never starving to the point that I would bite someone's arm off for something to chew on like yesterday! Lordy fraking hell ... Also, by the time we got to dinner, I couldn't finish it. TOO MUCH BEAN SOUP even though I portioned out like a cup.

Onto FOOD:


Spicy Bean Salad with Avocado Cilantro Dressing

Based off of this recipe: Southwestern Salad with Black Beans from Delish.com

Salad base is easy again: spinach and organic greens. I chopped up green onions, tomatoes and avocado for filler and garnish. The beans are left over from dinner yesterday that I pulled out before we ate and put on the salad cold.

Let me say on the dressing: this would be much better with yogurt instead of using EVOO. Right now, I'm not too thrilled with the taste (since I made it last night). Hopefully is macerates into something more yummy by lunch.

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Lime Cilantro Dressing

1/2 ripe avocado
3/4 c. packed fresh cilantro
1/2 c. non-fat plain yogurt (I used about 1/4-1/2 c. EVOO - I'm going yogurt next time!)
2 scallions, chopped
2 clove(s) garlic, quartered
1 tbsp. lime juice (I used half a lime ... kind of overkill

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Notes: Not as bad as it could have been. Mixing it with everything else helped ease the flavors everywhere. I had a hard time eating it again though. Those damn beans need cheese ... Dave LOVED it as is. He said he liked all the avocado (which I did, too). But he liked it better than day one for sure.

Homemade Garlic and Garlic Jalapeno Hummus

Recipe based off of: Roasted Jalapeno & Lime Hummus from theKitchn.com AND my friend Shauna's personal recipe.

I have never made hummus. Ever. I always let everyone make it for me or I buy it from the store. Making chickpeas from scratch ... was a lot of waiting ... and soaking ... and then slow boiling. The way I saw online was "soak for 8-10 hours then low boil for 2 hours." So I soaked them for about 20 hours - by the time I got around to making them - and then boiled about 2 hours. I had to add what I thought was quite a bit of water but apparently that can happen (which no one had mentioned when I was getting recipes ... but I'm glad I did it). Shauna did clue me in about fast boiling this morning: "Basically, you just boil, turn off the heat and let sit for an hour and then drain and add more water and cook on low for an hour." <<< next time I'm doing that!

Truthfully: I'm in love with this stuff! Dave's jalapeno version is way too much for my tastebuds but the base is perfect for me!

Things I did different: I didn't roast the jalapenos. They have enough flavor as is IMO. Dave also left the seeds in with his diced pieced to give it extra kick. Shauna uses sun dried tomatoes or roasted red peppers in hers and lemon juice; I opted to leave those out and use lime instead (because I love lime). Also, I particularly think that the cumin and, secondarily, the coriander I added gave it that super familiar flavor that you find in the store bought version! I also divided this up and did it in two batches: so 1 cup chickpeas per batch and halfed the ingredient per batch so we have the regular and the jalapeno versions. This is also better for my blender as a full batch wouldn't have fit. LOTS of garlic. I love garlic and it's good for you!

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Homemade Hummus

(1 big jalapeño - for a tangy version for a half batch - use 2 for a whole batch)
2 c. chickpeas (prep from scratch otherwise canned)
3-4 tbsp. lime juice (squeezed a 1/4 of a lime per batch - 1/2 a lime total)
4-6 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
2 tbsp. tahini (or substitute extra-virgin olive oil)
½ tsp. cumin
½ tsp. coriander
½ tsp. sea salt
4 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

Water

(optional - about a 1 tsp. dill weed)

Add ingredients to blender and mix up. Add water until consistency is your preferred thickness.

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Notes: I'm still in love with this today. I'm eating it now. I want more. Now.

Rosemary Salmon and Roasted Asparagus and Zucchini

I was going to make tuna but the store only had salmon. I'll live :)

Recipe based from: Roasted Asparagus from shewearsmanyhats.com AND #2 marinade for grilled tuna steak (with oregano).

Simple and easy ... or so I hope! I just hope Dave has my prep done when I get home! I'm getting tired of this cooking thing every night so far LOL

Also, I kept some of the marinade aside and added vinegar to use for tomorrow salad. It's yummy and fragrant!

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Rosemary Marinade for Salmon

1/4 c. EVOO

1 tbsp. Rosemary

1 tbsp. Basil

2 tbsp. Lemon Juice

2 cloves garlic

dash sea salt

Toss in blender to combine. Spray or oil foil so fish doesn't stick. Rub down fish with mix (let set for 30 minutes if you have time). Close and cook at 400 for 20-25 minutes.

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Roasted Asparagus & Zucchini

1 lemon - sliced

handful of rosemary sprigs

2 tbsp. EVOO

salt and pepper to taste

Toss everything in foil together (or on parchment on a pan). Cook on 400 for 7 minutes. Toss. Cook another 8 or until done.

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Notes: Mmmmmmm good dinner! Alice even tried a tiny bit of her asparagus top which was good and David ate the crap out of the fish she didn't eat! I looked at my plate when I plated it thinking, "I wish I had more food to eat," but I was full by the time I finished.

Advocare 24-Day Challenge: Day #1

First 10 Days:

No alcohol.

No milk.

No cheese.

No potatoes.

No refined sugars.

No pasta.

I might just die ... But probably not.

In an effort to get my family's eating habits on track and stop consuming processed crap, we decided to take a huge step in our dietary adventures: go natural! Buy Fresh. Make Fresh. Eat Fresh. This is my new mantra. Have we bit off more than we can chew? That remains to be seen. But if I can get my 2.5-year old to start eating real food and vegetables instead of just surviving on fruit and crackers, I'll consider the entire food-plan a success! PLUS the Boy and I are looking to shed some extra pounds which is one reason we are doing the Advocare 24-Day Challenge. Because we need to eat healthy to get the best benefits from this program, I decided this would be the best time to launch our new "fresh" menu.

Notes on the food:

1: Clean out your Fridge and Pantry!! I threw out 2 black trash bags of CRAP that we hadn't ate or was expired. This included cake mixes we never made, dip packages, sauces in my fridge that were old and mostly unused, old pasta, crackers, etc. Really: it was eye opening. What did I keep? A couple of mixes I might someday need in a pinch for brownies, spaghetti, pickles, A1 (I'm sorry, but sometimes you need the tang) and the list goes on. I kept condiments that are general and used most often.

2: Buy Local! I shopped one of my local health food stores and picked up organic nuts for snacking and salads, bean soup variety mixes, quinoa, rice, oats, chicken stock starter with no whey or MSG, etc. Next, I somehow made it to the Saturday Farmer's Market with both kids and walked out with fresh veggies and ground turkey to use in meals this week. I didn't have enough arms for the fruit ... so I'll be going back on Thursday during lunch to pick up more supplies. I actually felt bad that I had to run to Meijer to pick up strawberries for my salad today. BUT I will have to get my fish from the grocery store because I'm not pay $18 per pound at the Market ... and I'm not catching my own and fileting it ... unless you want to filet it for me!

3. Just Be Aware of what you are buying. Just because it says "hummus" at the store doesn't mean that it's JUST a basic hummus. There are preservatives, hydrogenated oils, refined sugars and more in most packaged items you buy at the store. Shop smart!

Menu Day #1

Breakfast: Fridge Oatmeal
Lunch: Salad with Lime Garlic Chicken and Strawberry Vinaigrette
Dinner: Spicy Bean Soup

Also, we are supposed to be snacking between meals, but right now I'm not feeling like snacking. Snacks are fruits, veggies, hummus, eggs usually. Today I have an apple and carrots and cucumbers on me ... just in case.

Update Mid-Morning: I'm eating my damn apple. I'm starving and going to run in 30 minutes :)


Fridge Oatmeal



The recipe and idea I based this off is Overnight, No-Cook Refrigerator Oatmeal from The Yummy Life.

I bought the Freezer Storage 8 oz. Ball Jars to use. LOVE the fact Ball makes jars in plastic now so they are light and the lids won't rust, of course! The grains I used are from my local Health Food store so they are organic and sold in bulk. Everything is mostly an estimate. The only time I really use "measuring" is when I need precise liquids.

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<1/8 c. Steel Oats
1/4 c. Rolled Oats
A Squirt of Agave (natural sweetener)
Fruit
Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk

Throw in the grains. They should fill an 8 oz. cup about half way or so. Chop up a fruit (I used 1-2 strawberries) and add to the top. Squirt in agave (we aren't supposed to have sugars ... but plain ole oatmeal with no butter or sugar is pretty PLAIN). Fill the cup to almost full with the Almond Milk. Put the lid on; shake; put in the fridge for at least 10-12 hours. Grab from the fridge on your way out the door.

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Notes: It's not TOO bad. I can't wait to get to the Burn Phase so I can add some yogurt to it! I plan on trying the banana and cocoa version, too. It works for now.


Salad with Lime Garlic Chicken and Strawberry Vinaigrette





Salad was easy: organic spinach and greens from the Market pulled apart into bite size pieces. Added some green pepper, onion and chopped almonds. There's your base! Oh, and since the kids are at daycare during the day, all lunch recipes are made for 2 people specifically.

Lime Garlic chicken is how we prep our chicken a lot of the time. When I'm using lime, I generally like to use tequila, too, but I didn't have any in the house (in a effort to NOT drink for these first 10 days). We use this chicken in salads and quesadillas mostly. Note: I'm a HUGE Tastefully Simple fan and adore their condiments and spices. Fresh, good, little to no chemicals and preservatives = good stuff.

The dressing is based off of a recipe one of my FB friends sent me. Her's had twice as much oil and sugar included. I added a couple of things, too.

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Blanched Garlic Lime Chicken

2-4 oz. Boneless/Skinless Chicken Breasts (more if you are making for several meals)
2 cloves of garlic chopped
1/2 real lime (squeeze over the meat while it's defrosting to marinade)

These are optional:
1 tbsp. Tastefully Simple Garlic Garlic
1 tbsp. Tastefully Simple Simply Salsa
1 tbsp. Tastefully Simple Onion Onion

Place the chicken (thawed or not) in a big pan. Throw in the spices, garlic, half a lime. Fill the pan with water as high as you can where it won't boil over (or at least covering the chicken). Put a lid on top, turn the heat up and let that meat cook. I literally cook all the water out. This leaves the chicken moist with lots of flavor and you know it's fully cooked. Try to skim off the fat that cooks out of the chicken as it boils down. When it boils about half way, turn the chicken over and take a fork to poke some holes in it. Cut into a couple of smaller chucks too if you are worried about it cooking all the way.

After it boils down, take out the lime half (scrap out the soft insides into the pan). Break the chicken apart using 2 forks (essentially "shredding"). Toss the shredded chicken around the pan to incorporate any left over garlic, onions etc. that are left in the pan from boiling. Want more flavor? Squeeze in the other half of the lime for extra moisture and LOTS more flavor.
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Strawberry Vinaigrette

1/2 c. chopped Strawberries
1/4 c. Red Wine Vinegar
1/4 c. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Cracked Black Pepper
About 5 Fresh Mint Leaves
Squirt of Agave (to combat the sour of the strawberries and vinegar)

Throw in the processor (or blender) and let that sucker incorporate. Made about 4 oz. Perfect for 2 oz. servings for our salads.
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I'm REALLY looking forward to my lunch break when I can go run my Week 2 Day 1 of C25K and then come back to the office to eat this masterpiece!

After eating: chicken is GREAT. Go easier on the red wine vinegar though. Just a touch too much!


Spicy Bean Soup

Based off of Weight Watchers Spicy Black Bean Soup.

A couple things I did different: I used a bean soup base from the health food store, added some black beans, and used my healthy chicken stock base instead of regular chicken stock. I'm also crockpotting this sucker all day ... so I hope it survives!

One thing I forgot but luckily remembered last night: dehydrated beans need to be reconstituted!! Luckily I was reminded of this last night as I went to make chickpeas for hummus and realized I forgot to soak them first. Then I looked at my bean soup mix and had that "Ohhhhh" moment and I'm glad I did. I prepped this soup last night, put it in the fridge and added more water to it this morning when I started it in the crockpot.

Also, season to taste. I may end up adding more stock starter or maybe a bay leaf or who knows what when I get home depending on how it smells/tastes. We are also using some leftover chicken to garnish

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2 medium onions chopped
4 cloves garlic chopped/minced
3 c. Bean Soup Beans (dehydrated)
1 c. Black Beans (dehydrated)
1 tbsp. Chicken Stock starter
1 lb. bag of frozen corn (chose fresh over frozen over canned)
1-10 oz. can tomatoes with green chilis
1 tsp. red pepper
1 tbsp. red pepper flakes
1 tbsp. Garlic Garlic
1 tbsp. Onion Onion
Cracked Black Pepper

35 oz. water

Chop, pour everything into the crockpot. Add more spices to taste. Will be VERY full. Let sit overnight in fridge so the beans hydrate. Add more water as needed when you start the crockpot to cook. Cook 10 hours on low. Stir if you are home every few hours.
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Notes: Crockpot FAIL. The beans absorbed ALL the water so we added more later and even then it was more of a bean mush instead of soup. SUPER FILLING though. Taste wasn't horrible but it needed some cheese ... and sour cream ... and lots of sodium and salsa LOL


Here are some helpful links if you are interested:

My 24-Day Challenge Recipe Idea Board:
http://pinterest.com/fozbend11/24-day-challenge-recipes/

Want to take the challenge? http://www.sparkyourdiet.com

And why haven't I ....

I keep reading these awesome blogs from moms who come off as irreverent or whining. They really aren't irreverent or whiny; but to someone who isn't a mom, these moms would be getting the "Bad Mom of the Year Award" hands-down. To those who are seasoned (or freshly seasoned), these women are venting the safest way possible: online, in public view, and not in front of their children. Their children have no clue what's going on. Which is the magic of motherhood: NO ONE KNOWS YOUR HORROR ... I mean SORROW ... I mean JOYS of motherhood like other mothers.

I am currently embarking on CHILD #2. Yes, I'm insane. Two under 2. Technically, the Alice will be 22 months ... so it won't be that bad ... right? Who am I kidding! Even if this one is a perfect child, I'm still going to be going out of my mind crazy. I better talk to the doc ASAP about having those happy pills lined up after delivery because I sure as hell don't need to do it again without drugs. What was I thinking the first time?! "I can handle this. I'm fine. Yes, I'm exhausted, but this is my burden. It has to get better. It can only get better." And yes, it did get better ... but it could have been better, sooner with drugs! I'm so damn stubborn.

So we decided to get #2 cooking specifically because:

A. I don't want to dilly-dally around and wait forever ... I want the baby stage done. I'll probably regret saying that later in life. But for the time being I love everything from 10 months on ... they are WAY COOL as little people and crack me up.

B. Dave changed his major. That was the big thing. Since he won't be in clinicals next fall (which would have made me a single mother ... oh wait, aren't I already?) I said, "Get 'r done." Ok, we said, "Let's do it." Even though 2 weeks later he didn't remember our convo and gave me permission ... again ... which at that time, the blastocyst was already headed for the uterus so I let him know he was a little SOL on the whole "permission" thing. Hey, you agreed, I took the initiative and it was just the way he likes it: he didn't know a thing so he didn't feel any pressure.

C. I really would love to get back to the sleep-in part of my life at some point. Even if it takes until they are teenagers ... that's fine. But the sooner it gets here ... the better in my book. Plus, I'd like to get back to my life of debauchery. I miss it. It was so much fun. I want it to be fun again! This just blows. No time, no drive ... PLEASE GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK!

Live and learn ...

The difference between pregnancy, birth and child rearing involves a learning curve that nothing prepares you for. Taking care of the needs of child is not even close to the needs of a pet or significant other. It's not that each of those activities involve you emotionally be observant, it's that children take a whole other dimension of thought and observation to ensure their daily level of satisfaction and happiness. I think most people can say that's an obvious statement - but truthfully this is not something we learn in health class in high school. We are told this over and over, yadda yadda yadda. We are told a lot things. Everyone has a story or opinion or insight that they feel is necessary to convey to those who haven't experienced.

In general, I have been an astute listener. As much as I have absorbed in story time over the years, I've never been a believer until I experience it myself. I'm a hands-on learner. I've been warned, lectured to and blatantly told many things about many subjects and still have lived through the experiences they described - not always with flying colors but at least surviving.

Everything I have been told about this change from maidenhood to motherhood is irrevocably - mostly - true. I just wasn't able to truly comprehend it until it happened. It's insane. It's taken me this long to get comfortable with it ... and I think I'm finally there. To experience is to learn and adapt. And so I am now more comfortable in my skin. Once you stop fighting change, it's so easy to go with the flow ... and my flow is with Alice <3